| Finally, Ryn and I are going to the mall again tomorrow. I haven't seen her in weeks. I have money, too. Otherwise we probably wouldn't be going to the mall.. Happy Woodstock [: I've been repeatedly watching the documentary on vh1. They cut out most of the Janis stuff, though. I also watched Female Trouble again. Hah. I hadn't seen it in a long time. Divine has sex with Divine. It's one of my favorite Waters' films, Pink Flamingos being the best of course. I'm working at the pantry in the morning and then going to lunch with my grandmother, she's taking us to the mall. Then we have to go to some field hockey meeting (groan). We have to stay after for Ryn's mom to be at the parents' meeting.. Ugh. Thank god my mother has a life. Hopefully Molly's there or something. I'm debating on getting my hair cut. Any thoughts?
No, Surrealistic Pillow was released in 1967.
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| Nice. Apparently, I am a heinous, spoiled, self centered bitch? That's just wonderful. How is getting taken out by your grandmother with $75 spoiled? And did it ever even occur to her that maybe they just give things to me because there are voids here that she'll probably never know? There are so many fucked up things in my life that I'll never tell her and/or most people about because they won't understand. Maybe the material things are given to be the best sort of consolation that's come up with? How is your grandparents paying for your lunch and movie tickets being spoiled? Not when the only two people who ever meant much of anything to you are dead, when you're forced to lie about yourself to your 'family', or when you're tossed between people like nothing. What I've basically come to figure out is that nobody is really going to bother trying to understand because they know they can't. They just can't. And we're all better off if we just leave each other the hell alone.
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| I don't have alot to say really. Except school starts on the 1st. Ugh. I don't look forward to this in the least. School itself doesn't necessarily bother me.. it's just that I'll have time for nothing at all. & really. Uniforms? I absolutely hate our uniforms. They're horrid.
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| This is just.. disgusting.. I was harassed three times some kind of way while walking to and from Starbucks. I was just wearing a dress; and it comes almost to my knees. You couldn't see anything. At all. There was this one guy in a truck who whistle and winked at me. He looked like he was 40. These workers were just staring at me. And then.. this one guy who I don't know one street over asked me if I wanted a glass of cold milk. He looked like he might've been truck guy. I got a very strong feeling that I would have been violated somehow had I gone in. This bullshit is why feminism is still alive. I'm 14. And I don't look like a woman for shit.
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| Maybe I have the notions I have because without them I would be left just with this shithole of a town and this 'family' that really isn't much of one. I'd like to be able to think that I'm worth something while I still can until I will inevitably end up realizing that I'm a piece of shit. Really. |
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